Monday Musings: Fear, Change and Barnes & Noble


Happy Monday! I appreciate all the wellness checks over the last couple weeks, but I swear I am not as depressed as it sounds.

Okay, I might have been depressed a few weeks ago – and some really good friends stepped in to check on me — but I am in a good place these days.

One of the side effects of burning the old and making way for new growth is a propensity for deep thoughts. Monday’s Musings are usually a summary of what I’ve been deep thinking. Granted, they’ve been a bit on the dark side, but if we don’t take a long look at the darkness, how can we banish it?


Anyway, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about fear this week. On Tuesday, I started a part time holiday job at Barnes & Noble. I thought it might be nice to get out of my writer cave once in a while and see real people.

What I didn’t count on was how out of my comfort zone I would feel. The last time I worked in the service industry, debit cards didn’t exist and we calculated change in my head.

The other day I spent my first 30 minutes waiting on customers. I was a nervous wreck. I went home and bemoaned my ineptitude

Now, I strongly suspect that by the end of Black Friday I will feel less inept. (Or I will have been asked to never darken Barnes & Noble’s door again. It’s 70-30.) However, the result, the experience has me thinking about how terrifying it is to step out of our comfort zone, and why so many of us stay stuck in the same place, even we’re unhappy.

Change is terrifying. I was ready to crawl back into my unemployment hole after 30 minutes of punching a register because being inept was so uncomfortable. Imagine how terrifying real change – life lasting, make it stick change – must be.

Then, today I went to church, and as so often happens, the liturgy seemed tailored-made for what was on my mind. The gist of today’s message was that we can’t live life governed by fear. Rather, we need to embrace the gifts we are given, face our fears so we might grow and share our abundance.

Simply put, cave to your fear and you’re missing out on all you have or can have in life.

The thoughts I’ve been having the last few weeks – this whole New Mental Ecosystem thing – involve examining the fears (and misconceptions) that have been holding me back, so that I can grow. Like the dreaded cash register, there are hurdles I need to jump in order to recreate my world.

New Skills, New Mindsets, New Opportunities. That might be one of my mantras for 2018. What would be yours?

Before I go – I want to wish everyone a very, very happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for each and every person in my life, both in person and online.  You make my world what it is, and I thank you for being a part of it.

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1 Response to Monday Musings: Fear, Change and Barnes & Noble

  1. Lesley M Mathews says:

    The last think you are in inept, you are Learning, and that takes time, effort and support. It’s hard stepping out, but it’s worth it in the end. And being busy, and challenged by the new, is the best way to keep those blues away. I applaud you for taking the job. Not only will you do fine on Friday, Barnes and Noble is lucky to have you.
    I’m always here for you.

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