So there are only 13 days left until I turn fifty.  The big 5-0.  I’m waiting for the “Oh my God, I’m turning 50” freak out to kick in, and you know what?  I don’t think there’ s going to be one.  Okay, granted, some of you will say that dedicating an entire six months of posts to the event is freaking out, but these posts have been largely about embracing the transition – not disparaging the event.

Truth is, as badly as we’d like to, we can’t turn back time.  This, of course, hasn’t stopped me from wishing it every time I look in the mirror.  Like I’ve said before, in my mind, I’m still have the same face and body I had when I was thirty.  Sadly, I don’t.  And while I would prefer not to have a thicker waist and flabbier thighs, I don’t have the desire to diet and exercise myself back to the way I was.   Life’s too short.  If I do only have 20-30 years left on this planet, I don’t want to spend them starving myself.

Don’t get me wrong – I am exercising and dieting.  I’m just not exercising and dieting, if you know what I mean.  I’m enjoying an enjoying an ice cream cone now and then, and I’m embracing Summer Cocktail Friday. (Oh, did I mention I’ve created Summer Cocktail Friday?) In other words, I’m going to enjoy life a little bit.  If that means I’m going to no longer weigh 125 lbs, then so be it.  In my opinion, I still look pretty good for my age.  Am I going to turn heads? Maybe among the senior set.  Maybe not.  But then who other than seniors wants to check out a woman my age anyway?

Maybe that’s what coming to terms with fifty is all about.  Accepting that you can’t turn back time or turn heads any more. Embracing who you are at this moment in time, and enjoying it.

Wow, could that last statement be anymore zen?  I credit last night’s yoga.  Chances are I’ll fall right off the self-acceptance wagon next week when I start shopping for RWA National.  I mean seriously, do clothes designers even realize what real women look like?

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a terrific Fourth of July.  I’m going to spend mine in Maine with a great book –  The House on Blackberry Hill by my pal, Donna Alward.  Check it out.   Oh, and don’t forget my online virtual birthday party on July 14th.  I’ll have more details next week regarding what we’re going to be doing.  (Hint: It involves friends and free books.)

Happy Fourth!

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